No Unwholesome Word

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

Ephesians 4:29

Talk about a conviction. This verse is probably one  you've heard over and over again, but can be difficult to put into practice until something is thrown in your face or kicks you in the butt.

I'm sitting here at Fido while the table of three girls next to me has been going on for a solid 30 minutes verbally tearing down their "friend" who isn't there to defend herself. I understand that this is common in girls and often hard to resist. What makes me cringe even more this particular time is how their love for God, church and prayer is intermingled throughout the bashing. 

My heart is breaking that this is the picture of how Godly women are allowed to act because that's not what God intends for us. Women should have each other's back and always be trying to encourage. It's hard enough to live in a world where insecurity and loneliness often rule the day without your fellow sisters in Christ tearing you down.

I may not be accustomed to 30-minute long bashing sessions, but I certainly don't always watch my words and I certainly don't always use my words for edification according to the moment.  

This isn't just a verse telling us not to talk bad about people, but also not to talk idly. Some things might be truth, but are they being used for edification? If you are pointing out a friend's error, are you pointing it out with love in your heart and purpose in mind?

Well, consider my butt kicked. 

If you don't believe me, take it from the Dowager Countess.

My Yoke is Easy and My Burden is Light

This stage of life comes with the most weight I've ever experienced. I think Justin felt it way before me - there have been times when he's talked about loving the extra weight and it giving him energy and motivation to do what needs to be done.

To be clear - I'm in no way the person who thinks my life and marriage will be perfect and being in love with always be easy and come naturally. I know that love is not always a feeling, it's a choice. And on July 14, 2012, when I said 'yes,' I committed to making that choice.

That being said, I'm obviously at the stage where love comes easily. Sacrificing doesn't seem like a burden because the feeling of love flows so freely and so passionately that it's a joy to do things for him. Therefore, some might say I've been in pre-wedding bliss.

However, recent conversations have brought me back down to earth a bit. I think I've spent so much time preparing for what happens after the wedding between the two of us - how to handle disagreement, how to keep love alive, etc - that I didn't think about the world around us and our responsibility to be informed, to fight for what we believe in, to raise children that will be positive assets to society and to help those around us.

We have to make informed decisions that will not only impact us, but our future children. I've definitely gotten the kick in the butt I needed, but there's a balance. As I was sitting, my mind spinning with all the weight and responsibility, I was reminded of this scripture:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Matthew 11: 28-30

In a world that is changing so much and often making choices that I don't agree with and will complicate life, I'm allowed to rest in the fact that The Lord is sovereign. I know Justin and I will be informed and make decisions that go with our convictions and I will trust that The Lord will bless that and be on our side. We'll do our part and he'll do his part. The responsibility is very real and very important, but the burden doesn't have to be so heavy. 

Side note: all the beautiful engagement photos I've posted were shot by Q Avenue Photo. They're talented and great to work with.

Wifedom

wifedom   

noun: 1. a woman joined in marriage to a man; a woman considered in relation to her husband; spouse.

Ever since starting back up, I've known my blog needed a change of title. My next stage of life is no longer reckless abandon. Don't get me wrong - I'm still called to abandon myself, my desires and my natural tendencies to live my life according to the will of The Lord. However, the season for reckless abandon, for jumping head first into new things, is over.

I'm about to be a wife. I can't be selfish anymore. I can't do what I want without thinking about others. I'm going to have a husband to consider and put above myself - I couldn't be more thrilled.

My main concern these days is becoming a wife worthy of such an amazing husband. Through this experience of dating and engagement, I'm learning just how selfish my natural tendency is, but Justin makes it easy for me to want to change.

Today is our one year anniversary of dating, so I thought it would be the perfect day for a new title and to tell you a bit about the man I love.

I feel so incredibly blessed to have a man like Justin in my life. I used to think people were crazy when they would get married so soon after starting to date, but I get it now. I knew I was going to marry Justin during our first coffee date. Why do I love him so much? Here's a quick rundown:

• He's patient. 
• He's kind. 
• He has a goofy side.
• He's great with finances.
• He loves to serve.
• He's a super hot drummer.
• He loves The Lord above all else. 
• He leads me spiritually every day.
• He's confident.
• He gives me piggyback rides when my foot is broken and I'm too tired to go upstairs.
• He loves movies so much that he doesn't notice anything going on around him. 
• He believes the best about people.
• He protected my heart during our whole dating experience and continues to do so. 
• He would scratch my back every day if I asked him to.
• He's responsible. 
• He strives for excellence in everything he does. 
• He's great with technology. 
• He understands the importance of making moments perfect. 
• He's not afraid of commitment. 

Those are just a portion of the reasons why I can't wait until April 20th! 

Here's a rundown of our relationship in pictures:

We began dating January 14, 2012 and a month later both went out of town. We took this right before we left each other for the first extended period of time. 

We got back and talked about what pet names we like on this snowy day. He sure knows how to make moments stick.

Then we went to friends' weddings and patiently waited until it was our turn.

I surprised Justin with a day trip to Chatt for his 26th birthday.

Then he surprised me with a day trip to the Biltmore for my 24th brithday!

Somehow we ended up jumping out of planes.

He graduated online classes and earned his degree! We celebrated (naturally).

We got engaged!

Our first Christmas together!

And now we're patiently finishing out our engagement!

I Wonder...

For all my fellow over-thinkers and analyzers, the phrase 'I wonder...' probably goes through your mind way too many times a day.

It all seems harmless, but what are you really accomplishing by wondering your life away?

The dictionary partially describes the word wonder in the noun form as "a feeling of puzzlement or doubt" and in the verb form as "to be filled with curiosity or doubt." - Is that what you want to be filling your mind with?

The Bible says -

Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them.  Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

- Mark 11:23-24

It doesn't say "Whatever you ask for in prayer, wonder if you'll receive it." It says, "Whatever you ask for in prayer, BELIEVE that you have received it." 

Rather than wonder about the future, let's go to God and believe for the things we ask for. 

A real world example: I fell down on my broken foot yesterday. Rather than working myself into a frenzy worrying that I've hurt it more or that it cause the bone to pull away more and require surgery, I'm choosing to believe that it's fine. I pray for protection over my foot every single morning when I wake up and every single night when I go to bed. Rather than wonder if I messed it up and will need surgery, I'm choosing to believe that God hears my prayers and his protection was over my foot when I fell. 

For you, it may be that you need to stop wondering what will happen at work tomorrow - if you'll make the deal, if your meeting will go smoothly. Or, perhaps you need to stop wondering how you're children are doing - are they getting good grades, are the making good decisions? 

Stop wondering and start praying and believing. It's not easy - you really have to think about what you're thinking about and stop it immediately, but the Lord has given us all the tools we need to accomplish this lifestyle change because his power dwells within us.

Thankful and Moving Forward

I have so much to be thankful for.

For the sake of being honest, I haven't been doing well the past week. I let my anxiety and depression get the best of me and really really struggled for a while.

Today is a new day. I'm thankful that Jesus has already won the victory. I'm thankful that he has equipped me with the power to overcome the devil and his ridiculous tactics.

I have been crucified with Christ, it is not longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Galations 2:20

As I sat in my room, awake at 2:00 in the morning a few days ago, consumed with anxiety, my parents reminded me of the truths of Christ. The devil overplayed his hand. I have a loving family, an amazing fiance, helpful friends, a flexible job and above all, the joy of the Lord. The devil didn't really have anything on me - my foot will heal and I will be able to drive again.

I'm thankful that this won't be like the last time. I won't allow myself to sit in the depression and drown in the anxiety - I have all the tools I need to fight it and remain in front of it.

I'm thankful for random people at McAlisters asking if they could pray for healing over my foot.

I'm thankful that this week is prayer and fasting at church, so I have the privilege of coming together with all my friends to pray and worship every day this week.

This time, I'm moving forward.

Do Not Be Wise in Your Own Eyes

It's no surprise that this past week or so has been very difficult for me. I've been completely thrown by the spiritual/emotional slap that came along with breaking my foot.

I was surprised because I felt like I had been doing well and everything in my life is so great right now (I'm getting married in a few months, wedding plans are all ahead of schedule, we were in the middle of the holidays, everyone in my family is doing well), so a broken foot shouldn't cancel all that out, right? Well, I was missing a key component - the past few weeks I really had lost a passion and desire to connect with the Lord. My prayer life had been dragging and I hadn't been studying the Word like I used to. 

I thought I had everything under control, but I was leaning into my natural tendency to rely on myself rather than God. That put me in a very vulnerable place when I found myself completely immobile and depending on others. Honestly, I began to sink into a minor depression.

Fortunately, I have a loving mother who reminded me of this verse and makes me say it every day:
 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all things acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and turn from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. 

- Proverbs 3:5-8

I like this because it talks directly about bones!

I will not lean on my own understanding. It's easy to surf the web and glean all the information about foot conditions, but it's also scary because you read horror stories of the simplest fractures taking months and months to heal. I don't have months and months to heal though. I will be walking at my wedding on my two feet - no crutches. 

Bottom line - I must live out this verse. I will trust in the Lord with all my heart. He's not surprised that I'm in this situation. He's not thinking... Hm, she's really gotten herself into a pickle this time. I will turn from my sinful tendency for depression and rather choose joy. I choose to believe and trust that the Lord will heal my foot in the expected amount of time, if not sooner. 

Again, a big thanks to everyone who has kept me company and checked up on me. I'm a very blessed girl and can't imagine doing this on my own.

Also, I'm excited because Becca is coming to hang out with me on Thursday evening! Yay - keep me busy! 

   

  

 

I've Done it This Time

It's definitely been a while since I quit blogging - I think just about a year. What better time to pick it back up than when you're stuck with a broken foot.

Yes, you heard me right - I've really done it this time - I broke my foot in 2 places! You can refer to my previous post - Ode to Klutziness - to see some of my old conquests, but this one takes the cake. I've been instructed to stay off my foot for 4 weeks and then follow it with 2 weeks of being in a walking boot. I'm definitely praying for a swifter healing process than the doctors anticipate, but it still makes you do a lot of thinking when you're stuck.

First of all, would you like to see a picture of the bruising?

Okay okay..I'll show you!

The lighting doesn't quite do it justice, but you can still see the expansiveness of the bruising! So, I spend my days like this ...

Fortunately, I have this face to keep me company ...

That's right - I wasn't even dating this good looking guy when I was on my last blogging spree and now I'm just 3 1/2 or so months away from getting married! That should be enough to keep me going these 4 - 6 weeks of being booted.

Also, I'm very grateful for my mom because she's been hauling me to and from doctor's appointments as well as carrying things for me and helping me stay positive! Here she is trying to be patient at the doctor's office while she's about to miss her own appointment

Don't worry...she made it!

I have a feeling I'll be posting a lot in the coming weeks.

Stay tuuuuuuned!