Ode to Klutziness

Per the request of Karen, I shall entertain you this evening with stories of klutziness: both my own stories and those of my friends. Sit back, relax and be grateful that it was me and not you. 

We'll go ahead and start with my most recent incidents. 

Well, I'll start by stating that I have skills that others only dream of having. As I was getting ready for the retreat this weekend, I pinched my arm in my closet. Not sure how, but I did. All weekend, I received gasps and inquires...nice. Here's a couple pictures. Sadly, they were taken today, so it's not quite as colorful as it was this weekend, but you still get the idea of the magnitude. 

If only you all could have seen it when it was a beautiful shade of blue.

As if I didn't have enough lovely art currently displayed on my body, we got to the retreat late, so I had to be on the top bunk. Naturally, I got this beauty:

This next thing isn't really due to klutziness, but it's worth mentioning. I somehow contracted ringworm, not to be confused with tape worm. I don't actually have a worm in me...it's just a skin fungus...which I suppose isn't much better. Regardless...it leaves a pretty little rash in the shape of a ring!

Moving on...one of my favorite klutzy stories is about my friend, Courtney. 

 

It was a rainy day in Chattanooga. Becca and Caitlin were hanging out in the living room, Courtney was working on homework in her room and I was taking a nap in my room. Courtney ended up falling asleep, sitting up in her bed, with her laptop on her lap. Becca and Caitlin decide that they want to play in the rain and come rushing to the back of the house to get Courtney and me to go with them. I wake up to the screaming and recognize it as goofy screaming, so I merely roll over to go back to sleep. Courtney, however, hears the screaming, wakes up and automatically decides the house is on fire. She half jumps, half falls out of her bed, chucks her computer across the room, shoves Caitlin out of the way and rushes to the back door. At this point, I'm confused because I hear both goofy screaming and terrified screaming. I come out of my room just in time to see Courtney frantically panting at the backdoor as she realizes that we are all staring at her in amazement. At least I now know that if there's a fire, I can't count on Courtney bothering to wake me up. 

This next story may be my most epic fail yet. This happened at the wedding of my dear peekle (Katie). 

Her wedding was a beautiful outdoor wedding. The reception was held under a tent with a wooden stage on top of the grass.

Anyway, I'm talking to Missy on the other side of the tent when I see that Robert and Katie are starting to dance. "Oh my," I say to myself, "I want to be a part of that." I take off in a light jog across the tent and realize that I don't want my shoes on anymore, so I turn around to kick them off. I guess I don't realize how close I am to the dance floor, so I don't life my foot enough to step onto the floor. My foot gets caught, and I go legit flying onto the dance floor. Who is there to catch my fall, you ask? Oh yes...the groom, Robert. But it's not a little trip that I can easily recover from...I smack into Robert...hard. This wouldn't be terrible had he not been holding a glass of lemonade that goes everywhere. So, if anyone was wondering why the dance floor was sticky...sorry. So, I think the worst part is over until I look down and see that I'm gushing blood everywhere (including a couple drops on Katie's wedding dress...don't worry...she said it came it out). 

The picture doesn't do it justice. I couldn't wear any shoes except for those for a good two weeks and I still have a solid scar from it. Ridiculous, but funny. 

There are so many more that I would love to tell, but I'm wiped and need to go to bed. So I'll leave you with a couple videos. You will just have to click the link because it takes forever to process videos. 

This one is just a compilation of funny falls.

And a favorite of mine...Scarlet Takes a Tumble.