Do Not Be Wise in Your Own Eyes

It's no surprise that this past week or so has been very difficult for me. I've been completely thrown by the spiritual/emotional slap that came along with breaking my foot.

I was surprised because I felt like I had been doing well and everything in my life is so great right now (I'm getting married in a few months, wedding plans are all ahead of schedule, we were in the middle of the holidays, everyone in my family is doing well), so a broken foot shouldn't cancel all that out, right? Well, I was missing a key component - the past few weeks I really had lost a passion and desire to connect with the Lord. My prayer life had been dragging and I hadn't been studying the Word like I used to. 

I thought I had everything under control, but I was leaning into my natural tendency to rely on myself rather than God. That put me in a very vulnerable place when I found myself completely immobile and depending on others. Honestly, I began to sink into a minor depression.

Fortunately, I have a loving mother who reminded me of this verse and makes me say it every day:
 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all things acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and turn from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. 

- Proverbs 3:5-8

I like this because it talks directly about bones!

I will not lean on my own understanding. It's easy to surf the web and glean all the information about foot conditions, but it's also scary because you read horror stories of the simplest fractures taking months and months to heal. I don't have months and months to heal though. I will be walking at my wedding on my two feet - no crutches. 

Bottom line - I must live out this verse. I will trust in the Lord with all my heart. He's not surprised that I'm in this situation. He's not thinking... Hm, she's really gotten herself into a pickle this time. I will turn from my sinful tendency for depression and rather choose joy. I choose to believe and trust that the Lord will heal my foot in the expected amount of time, if not sooner. 

Again, a big thanks to everyone who has kept me company and checked up on me. I'm a very blessed girl and can't imagine doing this on my own.

Also, I'm excited because Becca is coming to hang out with me on Thursday evening! Yay - keep me busy! 

   

  

 

I've Done it This Time

It's definitely been a while since I quit blogging - I think just about a year. What better time to pick it back up than when you're stuck with a broken foot.

Yes, you heard me right - I've really done it this time - I broke my foot in 2 places! You can refer to my previous post - Ode to Klutziness - to see some of my old conquests, but this one takes the cake. I've been instructed to stay off my foot for 4 weeks and then follow it with 2 weeks of being in a walking boot. I'm definitely praying for a swifter healing process than the doctors anticipate, but it still makes you do a lot of thinking when you're stuck.

First of all, would you like to see a picture of the bruising?

Okay okay..I'll show you!

The lighting doesn't quite do it justice, but you can still see the expansiveness of the bruising! So, I spend my days like this ...

Fortunately, I have this face to keep me company ...

That's right - I wasn't even dating this good looking guy when I was on my last blogging spree and now I'm just 3 1/2 or so months away from getting married! That should be enough to keep me going these 4 - 6 weeks of being booted.

Also, I'm very grateful for my mom because she's been hauling me to and from doctor's appointments as well as carrying things for me and helping me stay positive! Here she is trying to be patient at the doctor's office while she's about to miss her own appointment

Don't worry...she made it!

I have a feeling I'll be posting a lot in the coming weeks.

Stay tuuuuuuned!

To Worship You I Live

So this is going to be kind of a two part blog. The first part will simply be the sharing of a sweet moment with you while the second part will be dedicated to an old friend because it was halfway her fault that I experienced this moment on Friday.

So I was supposed to meet my friend Courtney for dinner Friday night and then we were going to head out to our friend Kree's show. I had a little bit of time left after work and before meeting Courtney, so I was trying to decide how I wanted to spend that time. I don't watch a lot of tv, so that wasn't too appealing, I didn't really want to start reading a book because I didn't have enough time to get into it. So, I decided to just sit down and listen to some worship music. Courtney was actually running a little late (which is fairly typical), but it ended up being good because I wouldn't have gotten to this song if she was on time. I've had this song on my iPod forever (To Worship You I Live - Away) and have even listened to it a lot of times, but for some reason, it got to me pretty intensely that night. Just listening to the words over and over again had me nearly in tears while sitting in my kitchen:

To Worship You I Live - I Live to Worship You

This isn't a killer video of the song or anything - I just wanted you to be able to hear it! It's at about 3 minutes that I really broke down...you'll be able to hear the moment for sure. 

It puts everything into perspective. I literally live to worship the Lord. We can worship Him in so many different ways: the actual act of worshiping the Lord with music, serving others, being faithful with our tithes, being kind to our families - the list seriously goes on. In everything we do - we should be worshiping the Lord. We Live to worship Him. 

Part 2

This second part is for THE Courtney Aldrich

  

I've been friends with Courtney since high school and I can definitely say I'm shocked we're still close - and I know she agrees with me. We went through some typical high school drama together - shared boy interests, dramatic reactions, unkind words exchanged - the works. It even got so bad once that one of us (not me) jumped out of the other's moving vehicle, but those aren't the things I think about in regards to Courtney anymore.

When I spend time with her now, all I see is how far we've come since then. We've gone from crazy dramatic high school students to responsible, level headed (most of the time) young adults who are eager to succeed in what we're doing and please the Lord. 

The first time we reconnected after our last major fall out was spent in the car, at Sonic, talking about Jesus and how He had been working in our lives. We haven't had any big arguments since then.

It's amazing to see how the Lord restores broken relationships when both parties are willing to admit their fault and forgive each other as well as ask for forgiveness. I will always cherish the little things that make Courntey who she is: her love for Sonic diet cokes, our shared moments back stage during theatre, awkward moments with certain people at Mellow Mushroom, her need to always be super sentimental (she's probably on cloud 9 with ME actually initiating a sentimental moment) and so much more!

Thanks for sticking it out Court! I know I'm not always the best at maintaining relationships, but I truly appreciate your patience and grace! 

Some of the girls at Sarah Beth's wedding this fall.

Prom '06

Fake bachelorette party! Classic...

Christmas party - not sure of the year. But Courtney Hume's hair is straight!

One of my personal favs!

Panchos - best place in all of the world!

 

Melting Pot for Kree's birthday one year. 

Honor Your Family

Rob presented a very thought provoking challenge at Rush Franklin this past Sunday. It's one I really appreciate and I know it sparked thoughts in a lot of the students. Honor your family. It seems like a simple concept, but there's so much depth that goes with it. I think it's incredibly important and beneficial to be intentional about this one. I don't live with my family anymore, so it's a little bit more difficult to honor and serve them on a regular basis, so I decided to dedicate a blog to them this week.

I'll start with my dad -  Bradley Ward Edmonson

I have a lot of nice things to say about my dad because he's pretty great! He's where I get my work ethic, sense of humor and stunning good looks (haha...but really...I look just like him. My 1st grade teacher once told me if I grew a beard I could pass for my father). I feel bad for the guys who've tried to date me because my dad has set quite the standard. He has three girls and a wife, so he's learned to be incredibly patient and fair. I'm so thankful to have a dad who has been present my whole life - both physically and emotionally. Because of him, I'm confident that I can succeed in whatever I put my mind to and not settle for someone who doesn't live up to the standard he set.

And my mom -  Tracy Leigh Edmonson

I may be my dad's look alike, but I also get a lot of qualities from my mom and she's pretty great herself. I've never had to worry about whether things were going to get done or if I was going to be left somewhere. I am proud to say my mom only forgot to pick me up from school once in my entire life! She's also a really great sport when it comes to being picked on. She likes to say that my dad, sisters and I are all "taters," which is entirely true, but she handles it like a champ. I'm grateful to have had a mom that acted like a mom and now my sisters and I are able to enjoy a more grown up relationship with her because she knew when to parent and when to have fun.

It's my older sister's turn -  Dani Leigh Edmonson

Dani may not always look like it, but she's my older sister. We didn't get along AT ALL when we were younger, but I'm thankful that we've been able to grow out of that and into a great stage of life. While we spent a good majority of our childhood bickering and avoiding each other - we've more than made up for that now in laughter. I love that we saw the last Harry Potter movie separately, but when Helena Ravenclaw said, "If you have to ask, you'll never know" we both thought of when Angelica Pickles said the same thing in Rugrats. This is but one example of the many ways we communicate through television and movie quotes.

And the little one -  Jaci Rae Edmonson

Jaci may have been the last to really come into her own, but we're loving who she's become. Similar to Dani and me, we couldn't stand each other when we were kids, and it took a little bit more time to start getting along, but she is seriously hilarious these days. Half the things that come out of that girl's mouth just make me laugh so hard. Of the three of us, Jaci is the one who has no fear - if she wants to do something, she just does it. Now, it's not always smart and it caused her to get in more trouble than we ever did, but it's definitely something I admire in her because I definitely don't have that characteristic. I follow rules and fear consequences - Jaci does not.

We started a family tradition where we have to all fit into a camera phone shot for birthday dinners. It doesn't matter how long it takes, we have to make it work.

The day Jacers was born. A.K.A. the day I stopped getting attention - thanks a lot.

We don't usually take normal photos.

Weren't we pretty much the coolest kids ever?

And still are...

Another birthday camera phone shot.

Overall, thank you Rob, for bringing this topic to everyone's attention.

Children, obey your parents, for this is right, "Honor your father and mother" - which is the first commandment with a promise - "so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth." 

  - Ephesian 6:1-3

But let's not stop with just your parents. Try to honor, respect and even serve your siblings. Trust me - I know this can be difficult, but you'll be surprised at how it will even bless you in the end.

It's A New Season

 

Ok...so our winters may not look like this here in Nashville, but a girl can hope right?

At any rate, there is a change of season coming up - but not just with the weather, I've been feeling that my season is getting ready to change as well. Interesting enough, a couple weeks ago at life group, we were told to meditate on what God has planned for this coming season in our lives. 

Personally, I love to think about the future and plan ahead of time. Sadly, God doesn't want me to do that anymore. I'll take a vision He gives me for the future and go crazy trying to plan and get there on my own time. He knows that He can really only tell me bits and pieces along the way - just enough to keep me motivated, but not enough for me to take over. I really won't even realize I've taken over until I'm halfway down some ridiculous path. 

Or - maybe the idea of that future scares me, so I'll go in the complete opposite direction. For instance, getting me to accept the calling into music was ridiculous. The first couple times it was brought up, I completely shut it down. You can just ask Reba - she was simply trying to be obedient in telling me what she thought God was telling her and I essentially kicked her out of my house. (Sorry about that!) 

Anyway, I've spent the past couple weeks (well a bit more because I was feeling it before we started talking about it at life group) trying to get a picture of where I'm heading. I've not been feeling well this week, so I had to miss life group tonight, but just because I'm not there doesn't mean I don't want to participate (hence the blog). But for the first time ever, I've got nothing. Not even a snapshot. No sound bite. Seriously nothing. I can feel a change in the air, I sense it in my life, but have no image of where it's going. This is both scary and exciting. Frustrating and liberating.

What do I do now? Just sit back and wait for it? I'm not good at the whole waiting thing. Why can't I have direction now? Maybe I won't enjoy the last bit of this season if I'm too busy planning for my next season. 

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."

- Romans 8:25

I don't know what's coming, but I'm hopeful for my next season. I've been through quite a few difficult growing seasons and I'm hopeful for a season of breakthrough and joy. For now, I wait for it patiently.

Awkward Moments: Part 1

There really is no getting around the fact that my life is simply a series of awkward moments.

I have found that sharing awkward stories is typically a crowd pleaser/makes me feel a little bit better to not keep these moments to myself, so I've decided that every now and then I'm going to do an Awkward Moments blog. Honestly, I could have an entire blog devoted solely to my awkward moments, but I'll refrain.

Anyway, these entries will be pretty similar to an old post, Ode to Klutziness. That one has a couple gems as well, so feel free to check out that post if you weren't friends with me when I was blogging a year ago.

My friends may be a little nervous to hear that I'm also going to be telling stories of some awkward moments that I've merely been a witness to. However, this first one is my own.

So, it went down like this: 

It was fall break of my sophomore year of college and my friend Whitney invited some of us to spend the week at her family farm. The majority of the trip was Whitney, me and like 5 guys. Things were going great! All the guys were so helpful and doing pretty much all the work and we were all just having a grand time.

Whitney's farm is on a lot of land so they own some 4 wheelers. There weren't enough for everyone so we doubled up for the most part. I figured it was for the best given my track record, so I was totally content riding along with one of the guys. We split up at one point and I was with Whitney when she got the call that one of the other 4 wheelers was ready to be picked up, so we drove over together on her 4 wheeler and the plan was for me to drive the other one back.

I somehow, by the grace of God, made it back safely (sadly my hat did not) from the part of the drive that was on real roads to the guys. I really thought someone was going to take it from me after that - but no. Everyone started to head out - and fast. I was too afraid to go fast since I don't trust myself but also didn't really know how to get back to the cabin because I never paid attention since I wasn't driving. They managed to get pretty far ahead in a span of a minute so I decided to cut through the field to catch up. Bad idea. Turns out there was a ditch there. I forgot to mention it had been raining on and off all day so everything was muddy and the rain was kind of obstructing my vision (at least I like to blame it on that). So my 4 wheeler runs into the ditch and I go flying over the front of it - I'm talking flipping in the air - and land on my back.

I try to get the 4 wheeler out of the ditch, but it's just not happening. Let's also not forget that I don't really know exactly where I am so I wasn't sure if I should start walking back or not. I decided against it and figured they would come for me eventually.

I'm just chillin' by the ditch when in the distance I see a row of 4 wheelers coming my direction. Let's also not forget that I'm on a trip with almost all boys and I tend to have the 'I can do anything' attitude and don't really like to be proven wrong in that area. They all pull up to see me covered in mud (did I mention that I essentially fell into a pit of mud?) in front of a 4 wheeler stuck in a ditch. Naturally, everyone got a pretty good laugh out of it.

We ended up having a mud fight after the accident.

I really wasn't too embarrassed because when you do things like this on a regular basis, you pretty much have to learn to let things go and laugh at yourself or you really won't be able to show your face in public ever again. As soon as you get over one awkward moment, another happens.

I think my awkward moments are some of my favorite moments.

Therefore Encourage One Another and Build Each Other Up

I struggle with this one. It's not that I don't think encouraging thoughts or appreciate people, but I'm just not sentimental or affectionate. As embarrassing as it is for me to admit, I have a hard time saying 'I love you' to even my parents. It doesn't mean that I don't love them or truly appreciate all they've done for me - there's just something about my personality that has a hard time feeling comfortable expressing my emotions. My parents are actually amazing. In fact, my entire family has been a source of encouragement my whole life.

I don't think there's a person in this photo who hasn't been encouraging throughout the years. I have a definite memory of each person in my family of a time they've said something that's been encouraging and timely.

They raised me with all the love a child could ask for - even though at times I felt as though I was misunderstood and treated unfairly. (only because I'm the middle child and act like a typical middle child). The truth is they raised me in love to be able to love, so I don't really know why I have a hard time living up to this verse:

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

I have been so blessed this past month by encouraging words. I can definitely tell that I've come a long way in the fact that I'm able to accept a compliment and allow it to bless me in the way it should. I can always tell when the Lord is trying to teach me a lesson because he will literally submerse me with people who force me to be comfortable with it. He has surrounded me with friends who are building me up and speaking life over me - especially in certain areas of life. I've had to step out in faith over and over again in the area of worship, but He's provided me with some amazing people who are always there to build me up. 

Lyns was actually the one who first kind of pushed me into joining choir and has been there every step of the way.

Crystal is amazing at speaking truth and life over me when I'm feeling inadequate. I'm so grateful for some of the things she has said to me.

Ileia has an interesting way of not even acknowledging the possibility that I could fail. It's quite refreshing.

Jenn also has a very refreshing approach to encouragement - she calls it like she sees it. I never have to wonder if she really means what she's saying because she doesn't believe in sugar-coating.

The Lord has also brought me to a ministry that I immediately felt was home. I had been looking for a way to get involved with youth again and He pretty much placed Rush Franklin in my lap. From the second I walked into that room, I've been encouraged time and time again by some pretty amazing people.

I've been so encouraged by Rob and Samantha's heart for the youth. Their passion drives me to continue to press into my passion. I'm not sure I've ever met anyone who has encouraged me as often and sincerely as Rob does.

Rob and Samantha aren't even the only ones who have been encouraging (although they are encouraging enough to last me a while) but the other leaders are as well.

Lindsay was kind of an unexpected friend. I didn't really know her well, but the first day I showed up she was one of the first people to come up to me and make me feel at home. I've been so blessed by her friendship this past month just in how quickly we've bonded and how easy it is to laugh together.

Justin is another one who was quick to invite me into the Rush family. I've known Justin for a long time but never really spent much time with him until recently. I've enjoyed getting to know him better and sharing a passion for learning God's word and reaching the youth. 

Something that surprised me the most was how encouraging the students are. They seriously make it so incredibly easy to love on them because they are so quick to give love. Here are just some of the students that I've had a blast getting to know and am so excited to see where God takes these relationships.

Maddie and Gracie are always rushing up to me with encouraging words that I cherish more than I think they even realize.

Talia and Brenna - they are hilarious. I LOVE their sense of humor!

Some of the Rush students.

This is really just a glimpse into the people God has put in my life for this season of building up. As I reflect on these people and the difference they've made in my life, I'm challenged to be that for others. I want to be someone who can openly share love and encouragement because we're called to do so.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

1 John 4:7-8