Ok...so our winters may not look like this here in Nashville, but a girl can hope right?
At any rate, there is a change of season coming up - but not just with the weather, I've been feeling that my season is getting ready to change as well. Interesting enough, a couple weeks ago at life group, we were told to meditate on what God has planned for this coming season in our lives.
Personally, I love to think about the future and plan ahead of time. Sadly, God doesn't want me to do that anymore. I'll take a vision He gives me for the future and go crazy trying to plan and get there on my own time. He knows that He can really only tell me bits and pieces along the way - just enough to keep me motivated, but not enough for me to take over. I really won't even realize I've taken over until I'm halfway down some ridiculous path.
Or - maybe the idea of that future scares me, so I'll go in the complete opposite direction. For instance, getting me to accept the calling into music was ridiculous. The first couple times it was brought up, I completely shut it down. You can just ask Reba - she was simply trying to be obedient in telling me what she thought God was telling her and I essentially kicked her out of my house. (Sorry about that!)
Anyway, I've spent the past couple weeks (well a bit more because I was feeling it before we started talking about it at life group) trying to get a picture of where I'm heading. I've not been feeling well this week, so I had to miss life group tonight, but just because I'm not there doesn't mean I don't want to participate (hence the blog). But for the first time ever, I've got nothing. Not even a snapshot. No sound bite. Seriously nothing. I can feel a change in the air, I sense it in my life, but have no image of where it's going. This is both scary and exciting. Frustrating and liberating.
What do I do now? Just sit back and wait for it? I'm not good at the whole waiting thing. Why can't I have direction now? Maybe I won't enjoy the last bit of this season if I'm too busy planning for my next season.
"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."
- Romans 8:25
I don't know what's coming, but I'm hopeful for my next season. I've been through quite a few difficult growing seasons and I'm hopeful for a season of breakthrough and joy. For now, I wait for it patiently.
So, I had this whole nice comment written out, but it didn't go thru I guess. :( Basically, I TOTALLY understand what you are going through Jess! I've been there and to some extent it never really goes away once God starts undoing the planner mentality in us. I hope it encourages you to know that it is so incredibly worthwhile. Keep pressing into God's presence and asking Him for wisdom and discipline to live one day at a time according to His Spirit. God likes to take the things which we expect and plan out the least and make them into some of the greatest aspects of our journey with Him. He is for you, He has gone ahead of you, and the good work He began in you He has already carried it on to completion! :)
ReplyDeletehaha Sarah, I hate when that happens. But thanks for the encouraging words! I hope you're doing well. We should catch up soon.
ReplyDeleteI love this post! I miss you and am thankful to Jesus that my friend is such an amazing journalist. Your gift blesses the people that know you.
ReplyDeleteOur prayers are with you daily.....there is a season for planting, a season for watering and a season for growing, and a season for harvest! There is joy in each season, but the harvest season is the most joyful! Try to be content in each season. You are such a joy and blessing to us!
ReplyDeleteLove the time we got to spend with you last week !!!! G & G