To Worship You I Live

So this is going to be kind of a two part blog. The first part will simply be the sharing of a sweet moment with you while the second part will be dedicated to an old friend because it was halfway her fault that I experienced this moment on Friday.

So I was supposed to meet my friend Courtney for dinner Friday night and then we were going to head out to our friend Kree's show. I had a little bit of time left after work and before meeting Courtney, so I was trying to decide how I wanted to spend that time. I don't watch a lot of tv, so that wasn't too appealing, I didn't really want to start reading a book because I didn't have enough time to get into it. So, I decided to just sit down and listen to some worship music. Courtney was actually running a little late (which is fairly typical), but it ended up being good because I wouldn't have gotten to this song if she was on time. I've had this song on my iPod forever (To Worship You I Live - Away) and have even listened to it a lot of times, but for some reason, it got to me pretty intensely that night. Just listening to the words over and over again had me nearly in tears while sitting in my kitchen:

To Worship You I Live - I Live to Worship You

This isn't a killer video of the song or anything - I just wanted you to be able to hear it! It's at about 3 minutes that I really broke down...you'll be able to hear the moment for sure. 

It puts everything into perspective. I literally live to worship the Lord. We can worship Him in so many different ways: the actual act of worshiping the Lord with music, serving others, being faithful with our tithes, being kind to our families - the list seriously goes on. In everything we do - we should be worshiping the Lord. We Live to worship Him. 

Part 2

This second part is for THE Courtney Aldrich

  

I've been friends with Courtney since high school and I can definitely say I'm shocked we're still close - and I know she agrees with me. We went through some typical high school drama together - shared boy interests, dramatic reactions, unkind words exchanged - the works. It even got so bad once that one of us (not me) jumped out of the other's moving vehicle, but those aren't the things I think about in regards to Courtney anymore.

When I spend time with her now, all I see is how far we've come since then. We've gone from crazy dramatic high school students to responsible, level headed (most of the time) young adults who are eager to succeed in what we're doing and please the Lord. 

The first time we reconnected after our last major fall out was spent in the car, at Sonic, talking about Jesus and how He had been working in our lives. We haven't had any big arguments since then.

It's amazing to see how the Lord restores broken relationships when both parties are willing to admit their fault and forgive each other as well as ask for forgiveness. I will always cherish the little things that make Courntey who she is: her love for Sonic diet cokes, our shared moments back stage during theatre, awkward moments with certain people at Mellow Mushroom, her need to always be super sentimental (she's probably on cloud 9 with ME actually initiating a sentimental moment) and so much more!

Thanks for sticking it out Court! I know I'm not always the best at maintaining relationships, but I truly appreciate your patience and grace! 

Some of the girls at Sarah Beth's wedding this fall.

Prom '06

Fake bachelorette party! Classic...

Christmas party - not sure of the year. But Courtney Hume's hair is straight!

One of my personal favs!

Panchos - best place in all of the world!

 

Melting Pot for Kree's birthday one year. 

Honor Your Family

Rob presented a very thought provoking challenge at Rush Franklin this past Sunday. It's one I really appreciate and I know it sparked thoughts in a lot of the students. Honor your family. It seems like a simple concept, but there's so much depth that goes with it. I think it's incredibly important and beneficial to be intentional about this one. I don't live with my family anymore, so it's a little bit more difficult to honor and serve them on a regular basis, so I decided to dedicate a blog to them this week.

I'll start with my dad -  Bradley Ward Edmonson

I have a lot of nice things to say about my dad because he's pretty great! He's where I get my work ethic, sense of humor and stunning good looks (haha...but really...I look just like him. My 1st grade teacher once told me if I grew a beard I could pass for my father). I feel bad for the guys who've tried to date me because my dad has set quite the standard. He has three girls and a wife, so he's learned to be incredibly patient and fair. I'm so thankful to have a dad who has been present my whole life - both physically and emotionally. Because of him, I'm confident that I can succeed in whatever I put my mind to and not settle for someone who doesn't live up to the standard he set.

And my mom -  Tracy Leigh Edmonson

I may be my dad's look alike, but I also get a lot of qualities from my mom and she's pretty great herself. I've never had to worry about whether things were going to get done or if I was going to be left somewhere. I am proud to say my mom only forgot to pick me up from school once in my entire life! She's also a really great sport when it comes to being picked on. She likes to say that my dad, sisters and I are all "taters," which is entirely true, but she handles it like a champ. I'm grateful to have had a mom that acted like a mom and now my sisters and I are able to enjoy a more grown up relationship with her because she knew when to parent and when to have fun.

It's my older sister's turn -  Dani Leigh Edmonson

Dani may not always look like it, but she's my older sister. We didn't get along AT ALL when we were younger, but I'm thankful that we've been able to grow out of that and into a great stage of life. While we spent a good majority of our childhood bickering and avoiding each other - we've more than made up for that now in laughter. I love that we saw the last Harry Potter movie separately, but when Helena Ravenclaw said, "If you have to ask, you'll never know" we both thought of when Angelica Pickles said the same thing in Rugrats. This is but one example of the many ways we communicate through television and movie quotes.

And the little one -  Jaci Rae Edmonson

Jaci may have been the last to really come into her own, but we're loving who she's become. Similar to Dani and me, we couldn't stand each other when we were kids, and it took a little bit more time to start getting along, but she is seriously hilarious these days. Half the things that come out of that girl's mouth just make me laugh so hard. Of the three of us, Jaci is the one who has no fear - if she wants to do something, she just does it. Now, it's not always smart and it caused her to get in more trouble than we ever did, but it's definitely something I admire in her because I definitely don't have that characteristic. I follow rules and fear consequences - Jaci does not.

We started a family tradition where we have to all fit into a camera phone shot for birthday dinners. It doesn't matter how long it takes, we have to make it work.

The day Jacers was born. A.K.A. the day I stopped getting attention - thanks a lot.

We don't usually take normal photos.

Weren't we pretty much the coolest kids ever?

And still are...

Another birthday camera phone shot.

Overall, thank you Rob, for bringing this topic to everyone's attention.

Children, obey your parents, for this is right, "Honor your father and mother" - which is the first commandment with a promise - "so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth." 

  - Ephesian 6:1-3

But let's not stop with just your parents. Try to honor, respect and even serve your siblings. Trust me - I know this can be difficult, but you'll be surprised at how it will even bless you in the end.

It's A New Season

 

Ok...so our winters may not look like this here in Nashville, but a girl can hope right?

At any rate, there is a change of season coming up - but not just with the weather, I've been feeling that my season is getting ready to change as well. Interesting enough, a couple weeks ago at life group, we were told to meditate on what God has planned for this coming season in our lives. 

Personally, I love to think about the future and plan ahead of time. Sadly, God doesn't want me to do that anymore. I'll take a vision He gives me for the future and go crazy trying to plan and get there on my own time. He knows that He can really only tell me bits and pieces along the way - just enough to keep me motivated, but not enough for me to take over. I really won't even realize I've taken over until I'm halfway down some ridiculous path. 

Or - maybe the idea of that future scares me, so I'll go in the complete opposite direction. For instance, getting me to accept the calling into music was ridiculous. The first couple times it was brought up, I completely shut it down. You can just ask Reba - she was simply trying to be obedient in telling me what she thought God was telling her and I essentially kicked her out of my house. (Sorry about that!) 

Anyway, I've spent the past couple weeks (well a bit more because I was feeling it before we started talking about it at life group) trying to get a picture of where I'm heading. I've not been feeling well this week, so I had to miss life group tonight, but just because I'm not there doesn't mean I don't want to participate (hence the blog). But for the first time ever, I've got nothing. Not even a snapshot. No sound bite. Seriously nothing. I can feel a change in the air, I sense it in my life, but have no image of where it's going. This is both scary and exciting. Frustrating and liberating.

What do I do now? Just sit back and wait for it? I'm not good at the whole waiting thing. Why can't I have direction now? Maybe I won't enjoy the last bit of this season if I'm too busy planning for my next season. 

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."

- Romans 8:25

I don't know what's coming, but I'm hopeful for my next season. I've been through quite a few difficult growing seasons and I'm hopeful for a season of breakthrough and joy. For now, I wait for it patiently.

Awkward Moments: Part 1

There really is no getting around the fact that my life is simply a series of awkward moments.

I have found that sharing awkward stories is typically a crowd pleaser/makes me feel a little bit better to not keep these moments to myself, so I've decided that every now and then I'm going to do an Awkward Moments blog. Honestly, I could have an entire blog devoted solely to my awkward moments, but I'll refrain.

Anyway, these entries will be pretty similar to an old post, Ode to Klutziness. That one has a couple gems as well, so feel free to check out that post if you weren't friends with me when I was blogging a year ago.

My friends may be a little nervous to hear that I'm also going to be telling stories of some awkward moments that I've merely been a witness to. However, this first one is my own.

So, it went down like this: 

It was fall break of my sophomore year of college and my friend Whitney invited some of us to spend the week at her family farm. The majority of the trip was Whitney, me and like 5 guys. Things were going great! All the guys were so helpful and doing pretty much all the work and we were all just having a grand time.

Whitney's farm is on a lot of land so they own some 4 wheelers. There weren't enough for everyone so we doubled up for the most part. I figured it was for the best given my track record, so I was totally content riding along with one of the guys. We split up at one point and I was with Whitney when she got the call that one of the other 4 wheelers was ready to be picked up, so we drove over together on her 4 wheeler and the plan was for me to drive the other one back.

I somehow, by the grace of God, made it back safely (sadly my hat did not) from the part of the drive that was on real roads to the guys. I really thought someone was going to take it from me after that - but no. Everyone started to head out - and fast. I was too afraid to go fast since I don't trust myself but also didn't really know how to get back to the cabin because I never paid attention since I wasn't driving. They managed to get pretty far ahead in a span of a minute so I decided to cut through the field to catch up. Bad idea. Turns out there was a ditch there. I forgot to mention it had been raining on and off all day so everything was muddy and the rain was kind of obstructing my vision (at least I like to blame it on that). So my 4 wheeler runs into the ditch and I go flying over the front of it - I'm talking flipping in the air - and land on my back.

I try to get the 4 wheeler out of the ditch, but it's just not happening. Let's also not forget that I don't really know exactly where I am so I wasn't sure if I should start walking back or not. I decided against it and figured they would come for me eventually.

I'm just chillin' by the ditch when in the distance I see a row of 4 wheelers coming my direction. Let's also not forget that I'm on a trip with almost all boys and I tend to have the 'I can do anything' attitude and don't really like to be proven wrong in that area. They all pull up to see me covered in mud (did I mention that I essentially fell into a pit of mud?) in front of a 4 wheeler stuck in a ditch. Naturally, everyone got a pretty good laugh out of it.

We ended up having a mud fight after the accident.

I really wasn't too embarrassed because when you do things like this on a regular basis, you pretty much have to learn to let things go and laugh at yourself or you really won't be able to show your face in public ever again. As soon as you get over one awkward moment, another happens.

I think my awkward moments are some of my favorite moments.

Therefore Encourage One Another and Build Each Other Up

I struggle with this one. It's not that I don't think encouraging thoughts or appreciate people, but I'm just not sentimental or affectionate. As embarrassing as it is for me to admit, I have a hard time saying 'I love you' to even my parents. It doesn't mean that I don't love them or truly appreciate all they've done for me - there's just something about my personality that has a hard time feeling comfortable expressing my emotions. My parents are actually amazing. In fact, my entire family has been a source of encouragement my whole life.

I don't think there's a person in this photo who hasn't been encouraging throughout the years. I have a definite memory of each person in my family of a time they've said something that's been encouraging and timely.

They raised me with all the love a child could ask for - even though at times I felt as though I was misunderstood and treated unfairly. (only because I'm the middle child and act like a typical middle child). The truth is they raised me in love to be able to love, so I don't really know why I have a hard time living up to this verse:

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

I have been so blessed this past month by encouraging words. I can definitely tell that I've come a long way in the fact that I'm able to accept a compliment and allow it to bless me in the way it should. I can always tell when the Lord is trying to teach me a lesson because he will literally submerse me with people who force me to be comfortable with it. He has surrounded me with friends who are building me up and speaking life over me - especially in certain areas of life. I've had to step out in faith over and over again in the area of worship, but He's provided me with some amazing people who are always there to build me up. 

Lyns was actually the one who first kind of pushed me into joining choir and has been there every step of the way.

Crystal is amazing at speaking truth and life over me when I'm feeling inadequate. I'm so grateful for some of the things she has said to me.

Ileia has an interesting way of not even acknowledging the possibility that I could fail. It's quite refreshing.

Jenn also has a very refreshing approach to encouragement - she calls it like she sees it. I never have to wonder if she really means what she's saying because she doesn't believe in sugar-coating.

The Lord has also brought me to a ministry that I immediately felt was home. I had been looking for a way to get involved with youth again and He pretty much placed Rush Franklin in my lap. From the second I walked into that room, I've been encouraged time and time again by some pretty amazing people.

I've been so encouraged by Rob and Samantha's heart for the youth. Their passion drives me to continue to press into my passion. I'm not sure I've ever met anyone who has encouraged me as often and sincerely as Rob does.

Rob and Samantha aren't even the only ones who have been encouraging (although they are encouraging enough to last me a while) but the other leaders are as well.

Lindsay was kind of an unexpected friend. I didn't really know her well, but the first day I showed up she was one of the first people to come up to me and make me feel at home. I've been so blessed by her friendship this past month just in how quickly we've bonded and how easy it is to laugh together.

Justin is another one who was quick to invite me into the Rush family. I've known Justin for a long time but never really spent much time with him until recently. I've enjoyed getting to know him better and sharing a passion for learning God's word and reaching the youth. 

Something that surprised me the most was how encouraging the students are. They seriously make it so incredibly easy to love on them because they are so quick to give love. Here are just some of the students that I've had a blast getting to know and am so excited to see where God takes these relationships.

Maddie and Gracie are always rushing up to me with encouraging words that I cherish more than I think they even realize.

Talia and Brenna - they are hilarious. I LOVE their sense of humor!

Some of the Rush students.

This is really just a glimpse into the people God has put in my life for this season of building up. As I reflect on these people and the difference they've made in my life, I'm challenged to be that for others. I want to be someone who can openly share love and encouragement because we're called to do so.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

1 John 4:7-8

Unfailing Father

I had another topic in mind for my next blog, but true to the way the Lord works in my life, He dropped a bombshell of emotions and burdens on my heart tonight. I was enjoying a lovely girl's night out with Lyns, Kia, Ileia, Heather and Blessing tonight. We grabbed dinner at PM and then walked over to Belmont's Curb Cafe to watch a friend and her boyfriend's show.

They were a few songs into the night and I was just enjoying the music. They're both amazing musicians: Christa Ciotti and Brian Yak - I recommend you check them out. Anyway, they get to a portion of the show where they both share their stories of growing up with a void left by their fathers - one left by choice while the other was taken at an early age to be with our Heavenly Father. Either way, they both had to deal with the void. After they shared their stories, they performed a song called 'Unfailing Father.' I was completely taken off guard when God told me to look around the table - I was surrounded by dear friends who share this particular burden - whether their fathers chose to leave or passed away. As I was looking around this table of girls I truly love, I was filled with so many emotions.

I'm so blessed in the fact that I grew up with an amazing, present earthly father. However, God chose tonight to use my gift of empathy to show me for a moment the heaviness that comes with not having that earthly form of a father.

I just want to encourage those out there who have had to deal with this void that there is hope. One of the lines in the song states, "Rest in the peace His love provides." You're not going to be able to fill this void with anything but our Heavenly Father's love - sex, drugs, alcohol, addiction, eating disorders won't do anything for you.

The song also says, "Search no farther than the unfailing Father." I totally understand it's not the easiest thing to do and I also understand that I cannot fully grasp the hurt you feel - the constant feeling of loss. What I can do is stand with you and intercede in prayer for healing because our God is healer - emotionally and physically.

The Bible has plenty to say about the fatherless:
"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in his holy dwelling" - Psalm 68:5
"The Lord watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow" - Psalm 146:9
For time's sake I'm only putting a couple, but there are so many instances where He not only speaks of being a father to the fatherless but also challenging His people to step in here on Earth to help the fatherless.

I wish I could have taken a video of the song so I had something to post for you all, but I didn't think of it. However, this is a video of her performing another song. I wish the quality was better, but you at least get the fact that the girl can SANG IT!

UPDATE: This is a video Lyns took with her phone tonight of them performing another song. They pretty much killed it...in a good way.

Books, Authors and Characters! Oh My!

I decided that since I went a little deeper earlier this week, I can take a post to just ramble about favorite things. Clearly, I love books. No surprise - you don't study English Literature if you don't enjoy literature. 


So here's the thing with me - I'm all about some character development. There are times I find myself enjoying books that others didn't find all that interesting simply because I fell in love with the characters. I don't always have to have a crazy amazing plot to enjoy reading because I'm pretty much in their world - I hear their voices, I see their faces; I'm actually a part of their story. 

“All good books are alike in that they are truer than if they had really happened and after you are finished reading one you will feel that all that happened to you and afterwards it all belongs to you; the good and the bad, the ecstasy, the remorse, and sorrow, the people and the places and how the weather was.”
- Ernest Hemingway


Jane Austen isn't for everyone - her stories are a bit slower moving than our generation prefers, but I happen to love the characters, the time period, the language - all of it. Here are some of my favorite Austen characters: 

• Mr. Bennet from Pride and Prejudice: I always went back and forth between whether I loved him for his sarcasm and ability to put up with a house of six women or disliked him for his lethargic attitude toward their well-being. In the end - I've decided I love him. You can't help but enjoy that dry sense of humor. 
• Mr Collins from Pride and Prejudice: Hilarious. That's all I have to say about him. He is so unbelievably ridiculous that it's just funny. 
• Jane Fairfax from Emma: She doesn't get as much attention, but I always find myself fascinated with her and the reasoning behind her actions. You're forced to view her in a different light and rethink her attitude toward everything when you learn about the twist in the story (I won't say it in case you haven't read it and are planning to). I give her a lot of credit for staying as calm and reasonable as she could.
• Henry Tilney from Northanger Abbey: He is by far my favorite leading man in the Austen novels. He's got a lot of the characteristics I like in a man - he's witty, sarcastic and clever all while still being very loving and nurturing to both his sister and Catherine. Love him. 
• I won't even start on Persuasion because I love a good majority of those character. 

I'm just now getting off my Jane Austen kick, so don't think that's all I read. I love all kinds of books! Here's a short list of some of my favorite books:

• A Passage to India - E. M. Forster
• The Great Divorce - C.S. Lewis
• Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
• Canterbury Tales - Chaucer - I don't recommend this if you're not familiar with Middle English. Of course you can get a translation, but a lot of the references are lost and half the fun of it lies in the language. 
• Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
• East of Eden - John Steinbeck
• The Things They Carried - Tim O'Brien
• The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin - You'll learn a lot about him that you never knew.
• Lord Jim - Joseph Conrad
• Dubliners - James Joyce
• Major Barbara - George Bernard Shaw
• To the Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf
• Much Ado About Nothing - Shakespeare
• Twelfth Night - Shakespeare
• All's Well that Ends Well - Shakespeare

There are many more, but that's all I'll say for now. I'll leave you with a quote from a favorite author. 


"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen; not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."
- C.S. Lewis

If you have any book suggestions, please send them my way because I love reading new things! On the flip side, if you would like book suggestions, I'm always more than happy to help on that end as well!


 

Gladness and Joy Will Overtake Them; Sorrow and Sighing Will Flee Away

As I was finishing my little yoga routine tonight, God put the topic of joy on my heart. I'll be honest - I couldn't even finish my workout because I was a bit too excited to dive into the study of joy and reflect on how this theme has come in and out of my life.

As I'm sitting in my sun room (that's not so sunny considering it's after dark), sipping on tea, reading my Bible and listening to music, I'm feeling rather joyful.

Many of you who know me well know that I struggled with the lack of joy for years. I let depression rule my life for a good three years before I started fighting back. Tonight, I chose to meditate on Isaiah 35:10 because I long for those moments of joy that completely overwhelm you. It's as if you don't know what else to do besides laugh or lay down or sing or dance or whatever you feel you need to do!

"And the ransomed of the Lord will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away." 
-Isaiah 25:10

When I began my journey out of depression and back into the joy God was holding for me, it was a fight to even see glimpses of it. However, as time went on, the joy would completely overwhelm me in the most random moments.

I remember one time I was making cupcakes with my best friend, Mary, in Chattanooga and we were both consumed with joy at the same time out of nowhere. We ended up on the floor laughing for a solid half hour.

There have been times in my life, especially lately, when I'm feeling sad or frustrated and I have to stop myself and remember who my Creator is and I allow the joy to overtake me while my sorrow and sighing flee.

Friends, joy is one of our greatest weapons, so it only makes sense that the devil is constantly attacking it. Don't let him win for as long as I did. I promise it's worth the fight.

I was actually there in the video below. That was the night of my biggest break through with depression and I've never been the same...

And...I'm Back

It's definitely been a while since I did anything with my blog. In fact, it's been nearly a year. But don't be fooled - just because I haven't been frequenting this place doesn't mean that nothing interesting has been going on. It's quite the opposite; I've actually had a fairly eventful year. That being said, I figured I would dedicate this blog to a simple game of catch-up.

I last wrote around Halloween time because I did the 'Scariest Moments of My Life' three-part series and so much has happened since then. In my old life group we would always catch up with each other based on three areas of life: time, talent and treasure. I'll probably keep my "treasure" out of it...all you need to know is I tithe regularly and give whenever I can.

Anyway, we'll start with time. There have been times this year where almost all of my free time has been dedicated to one thing or another. Fortunately, I'm finally in a stage of life where I have a couple evenings that are completely free and it's amazing.
Over the past year I've dedicated a lot of time to choir. I really had only just joined choir around the time I stopped blogging, but I've kept up with it. We practice every Wednesday and sing every other Sunday, so it takes up a lot of time.
I'm also involved in an amazing life group led by Jaime Jamgochian - she is amazing and has a huge heart for the Lord. If you haven't checked her music out yet, you absolutely should. We've spent the past few months studying how to be a worshiper.
I've only just started helping out with Rush Franklin (our high school/middle school youth group). It's been so amazing to be able to just stroll into a ministry like that and feel at home. There hasn't been a single awkward moment - I feel as though it's been a part of my routine all year. The leaders and volunteers are amazing as well as the students - they make it easy to love on them.

Finally: my talent. It's so weird to me to even have anything to talk about in this section since I went pretty much my whole life thinking I wasn't talented at anything. I've obviously been singing a lot lately in the choir, but even more than that, I've had people in my life who truly believe in me and have been continuing to train me up by putting me in the rotation for Wednesday night frontline. Although it's still scary for me to think about sticking my part alone, I have really enjoyed the challenge. I also spent a couple months working on Vicki Yohe's latest album that's due out late this month. It was such a fun experience learning the songs with everyone and spending time in the studio - I would love to do that more often.
I've also been doing a lot more writing recently - just not on here. I've written a lot more songs and have also started on my first novel. I am absolutely stoked to see where the storyline goes!
Something that's really exciting to me, but not really to everyone else is that I'm getting to use my administrative skills again! This is exciting for me because God made me lay it down while I was working on the scarier skills, so I see Him letting me get back into that means I've been doing something right in the other areas!

I feel like you have enough to read up there, so I'll finish off with some photos of the past year.

I turned 23! This is a picture of me, Dani and Jaci at my birthday dinner. 

At the studio for Vicki's Yohe's upcoming album, 'I'm at Peace.'

  

All the old Chatt girls were able to get together for a birthday tea party for my 23rd birthday!

My college roommate, Courtney got married this summer. Beautiful (and hot) wedding!

My little baby sister, Jaci got baptized. Quite a milestone...