Awkward Moments: Part 1

There really is no getting around the fact that my life is simply a series of awkward moments.

I have found that sharing awkward stories is typically a crowd pleaser/makes me feel a little bit better to not keep these moments to myself, so I've decided that every now and then I'm going to do an Awkward Moments blog. Honestly, I could have an entire blog devoted solely to my awkward moments, but I'll refrain.

Anyway, these entries will be pretty similar to an old post, Ode to Klutziness. That one has a couple gems as well, so feel free to check out that post if you weren't friends with me when I was blogging a year ago.

My friends may be a little nervous to hear that I'm also going to be telling stories of some awkward moments that I've merely been a witness to. However, this first one is my own.

So, it went down like this: 

It was fall break of my sophomore year of college and my friend Whitney invited some of us to spend the week at her family farm. The majority of the trip was Whitney, me and like 5 guys. Things were going great! All the guys were so helpful and doing pretty much all the work and we were all just having a grand time.

Whitney's farm is on a lot of land so they own some 4 wheelers. There weren't enough for everyone so we doubled up for the most part. I figured it was for the best given my track record, so I was totally content riding along with one of the guys. We split up at one point and I was with Whitney when she got the call that one of the other 4 wheelers was ready to be picked up, so we drove over together on her 4 wheeler and the plan was for me to drive the other one back.

I somehow, by the grace of God, made it back safely (sadly my hat did not) from the part of the drive that was on real roads to the guys. I really thought someone was going to take it from me after that - but no. Everyone started to head out - and fast. I was too afraid to go fast since I don't trust myself but also didn't really know how to get back to the cabin because I never paid attention since I wasn't driving. They managed to get pretty far ahead in a span of a minute so I decided to cut through the field to catch up. Bad idea. Turns out there was a ditch there. I forgot to mention it had been raining on and off all day so everything was muddy and the rain was kind of obstructing my vision (at least I like to blame it on that). So my 4 wheeler runs into the ditch and I go flying over the front of it - I'm talking flipping in the air - and land on my back.

I try to get the 4 wheeler out of the ditch, but it's just not happening. Let's also not forget that I don't really know exactly where I am so I wasn't sure if I should start walking back or not. I decided against it and figured they would come for me eventually.

I'm just chillin' by the ditch when in the distance I see a row of 4 wheelers coming my direction. Let's also not forget that I'm on a trip with almost all boys and I tend to have the 'I can do anything' attitude and don't really like to be proven wrong in that area. They all pull up to see me covered in mud (did I mention that I essentially fell into a pit of mud?) in front of a 4 wheeler stuck in a ditch. Naturally, everyone got a pretty good laugh out of it.

We ended up having a mud fight after the accident.

I really wasn't too embarrassed because when you do things like this on a regular basis, you pretty much have to learn to let things go and laugh at yourself or you really won't be able to show your face in public ever again. As soon as you get over one awkward moment, another happens.

I think my awkward moments are some of my favorite moments.

Therefore Encourage One Another and Build Each Other Up

I struggle with this one. It's not that I don't think encouraging thoughts or appreciate people, but I'm just not sentimental or affectionate. As embarrassing as it is for me to admit, I have a hard time saying 'I love you' to even my parents. It doesn't mean that I don't love them or truly appreciate all they've done for me - there's just something about my personality that has a hard time feeling comfortable expressing my emotions. My parents are actually amazing. In fact, my entire family has been a source of encouragement my whole life.

I don't think there's a person in this photo who hasn't been encouraging throughout the years. I have a definite memory of each person in my family of a time they've said something that's been encouraging and timely.

They raised me with all the love a child could ask for - even though at times I felt as though I was misunderstood and treated unfairly. (only because I'm the middle child and act like a typical middle child). The truth is they raised me in love to be able to love, so I don't really know why I have a hard time living up to this verse:

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

I have been so blessed this past month by encouraging words. I can definitely tell that I've come a long way in the fact that I'm able to accept a compliment and allow it to bless me in the way it should. I can always tell when the Lord is trying to teach me a lesson because he will literally submerse me with people who force me to be comfortable with it. He has surrounded me with friends who are building me up and speaking life over me - especially in certain areas of life. I've had to step out in faith over and over again in the area of worship, but He's provided me with some amazing people who are always there to build me up. 

Lyns was actually the one who first kind of pushed me into joining choir and has been there every step of the way.

Crystal is amazing at speaking truth and life over me when I'm feeling inadequate. I'm so grateful for some of the things she has said to me.

Ileia has an interesting way of not even acknowledging the possibility that I could fail. It's quite refreshing.

Jenn also has a very refreshing approach to encouragement - she calls it like she sees it. I never have to wonder if she really means what she's saying because she doesn't believe in sugar-coating.

The Lord has also brought me to a ministry that I immediately felt was home. I had been looking for a way to get involved with youth again and He pretty much placed Rush Franklin in my lap. From the second I walked into that room, I've been encouraged time and time again by some pretty amazing people.

I've been so encouraged by Rob and Samantha's heart for the youth. Their passion drives me to continue to press into my passion. I'm not sure I've ever met anyone who has encouraged me as often and sincerely as Rob does.

Rob and Samantha aren't even the only ones who have been encouraging (although they are encouraging enough to last me a while) but the other leaders are as well.

Lindsay was kind of an unexpected friend. I didn't really know her well, but the first day I showed up she was one of the first people to come up to me and make me feel at home. I've been so blessed by her friendship this past month just in how quickly we've bonded and how easy it is to laugh together.

Justin is another one who was quick to invite me into the Rush family. I've known Justin for a long time but never really spent much time with him until recently. I've enjoyed getting to know him better and sharing a passion for learning God's word and reaching the youth. 

Something that surprised me the most was how encouraging the students are. They seriously make it so incredibly easy to love on them because they are so quick to give love. Here are just some of the students that I've had a blast getting to know and am so excited to see where God takes these relationships.

Maddie and Gracie are always rushing up to me with encouraging words that I cherish more than I think they even realize.

Talia and Brenna - they are hilarious. I LOVE their sense of humor!

Some of the Rush students.

This is really just a glimpse into the people God has put in my life for this season of building up. As I reflect on these people and the difference they've made in my life, I'm challenged to be that for others. I want to be someone who can openly share love and encouragement because we're called to do so.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

1 John 4:7-8

Unfailing Father

I had another topic in mind for my next blog, but true to the way the Lord works in my life, He dropped a bombshell of emotions and burdens on my heart tonight. I was enjoying a lovely girl's night out with Lyns, Kia, Ileia, Heather and Blessing tonight. We grabbed dinner at PM and then walked over to Belmont's Curb Cafe to watch a friend and her boyfriend's show.

They were a few songs into the night and I was just enjoying the music. They're both amazing musicians: Christa Ciotti and Brian Yak - I recommend you check them out. Anyway, they get to a portion of the show where they both share their stories of growing up with a void left by their fathers - one left by choice while the other was taken at an early age to be with our Heavenly Father. Either way, they both had to deal with the void. After they shared their stories, they performed a song called 'Unfailing Father.' I was completely taken off guard when God told me to look around the table - I was surrounded by dear friends who share this particular burden - whether their fathers chose to leave or passed away. As I was looking around this table of girls I truly love, I was filled with so many emotions.

I'm so blessed in the fact that I grew up with an amazing, present earthly father. However, God chose tonight to use my gift of empathy to show me for a moment the heaviness that comes with not having that earthly form of a father.

I just want to encourage those out there who have had to deal with this void that there is hope. One of the lines in the song states, "Rest in the peace His love provides." You're not going to be able to fill this void with anything but our Heavenly Father's love - sex, drugs, alcohol, addiction, eating disorders won't do anything for you.

The song also says, "Search no farther than the unfailing Father." I totally understand it's not the easiest thing to do and I also understand that I cannot fully grasp the hurt you feel - the constant feeling of loss. What I can do is stand with you and intercede in prayer for healing because our God is healer - emotionally and physically.

The Bible has plenty to say about the fatherless:
"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in his holy dwelling" - Psalm 68:5
"The Lord watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow" - Psalm 146:9
For time's sake I'm only putting a couple, but there are so many instances where He not only speaks of being a father to the fatherless but also challenging His people to step in here on Earth to help the fatherless.

I wish I could have taken a video of the song so I had something to post for you all, but I didn't think of it. However, this is a video of her performing another song. I wish the quality was better, but you at least get the fact that the girl can SANG IT!

UPDATE: This is a video Lyns took with her phone tonight of them performing another song. They pretty much killed it...in a good way.